March 18, 2010 in Movies
Have any of you ever read the books? They’re just great, aren’t they? A perfect mix of creepiness, humor, action, and all the things
that make a book joyful and worth my time reading. When I heard that they were turning it into a movie, I was ecstatic! I
literally counted down the days. Wait a minute, who was the casting director, and what’s his social security number? I swear
when I get a hold of him, why I oughta!! Did they really just cast John C. Riley as Crepsley? COME ON PAUL WEITZ! How could you agree to this insanity!? Who can take Dale Doback as a Vampire seriously? It completely takes away the mysterious/haunting effect.
It reminds me of Will Smith, no matter how good he was in 7 Pounds or I Am Legend, I still saw this guy dancing around singing “Iiiiin west Philadelphia born and raised…”
(This had absolutely nothing to do with Cirque Du Freak, and I apologize. I just had to share with you all how I feel about Cal Noughton Jr. playing a role as a vampire.)
Moving on to Chris Massoglia who played Darren. His acting is downright horrible and I was very, very disappointed in this movie as soon as I saw that the main character could have been shown up by a 7 year old in a school play about farming. He was so blank – his face, his words – it was as if he were reading off cue cards the whole time! Sheer disappointment. It wasn’t a bad performance, but I think I speak for everyone here when I say it was very unsettling watching a thick, black, mass of facial hair grow upon Selma Hayek’s pretty face before my eyes. It was kind of like watching the guy or girl of your dreams picking a booger and eating it and trying to feed one to you. Just not cool. Now, whenever I see her I’m going to have this image in my head.
Oh Selma, Selma, Selma, Selma.
Josh Hutcherson, however, did a GREAT job with playing Steve. The anger was so strong, so believable, it had me begging for more scenes of him. When I first heard he was given the part I was kind of weary of it, but he definitely blew me away. Good job, Joshy.
Also, Jane Krakowski was a nice pick for Corma Limbs, exactly as I imagined her in real life. The special effects were great! Watching Corma grow her arm back, you can see the detail in the bone structure and the muscles, even the veins (just so happens to be my favorite part of the movie)! The action and fighting scenes weren’t bad, but the whole “romance” thing between Monkey girl and Darren was flat out awkward. Anyways, I’m curious as to how the next one will be. I wonder if they have learned their lesson with the box office flop and decide to make it worth paying 10 bucks to see.
Special Effects: 90
Actor Performances: 63