“Skate 3″ Game Review

July 5, 2010 in Random

Hello internet. I’m Boris, here to provide you a review on one of my favourite franchise’s new installments: skate. 3

How can you change a game about skateboarding? You can’t. Let’s get this out of the way right away. They can use gimmicks like darkslides and new difficulties, but the essence of the game, the controls of the game, the types of challenges–they do not change. Now, what does this game do correctly? As in the others, it has a baddass intro. That is one thing EA has done consistently with this game series, spend money on a great intro that truly does its job: it introduces the skaters. While not orthodox, and often a little over the top, it is humorous and starts the game off right. Now, the game starts you off in a new city, with a new idea: instead of getting out of jail, or the hospital, you’ve just wrecked yourself after some ridiculous stunt. Then Reda, the entire reason I turned off the conversation volume off, decides to start a board company. One, not that easy. Two, not practical. Beside the point.

Now, the gameplay. It is the same tried and true formula that trumped the Tony Hawk series out of existence. Use the left stick to steer, the right stick to do ollies, kickflips, tre flips, etc. It is the same as the other 2, with a new gimmick. You can now catch the board upside-down to darkslide. It’s stupid, in my opinion, but whatever. EA decided to include a new game difficulty as well, hardcore for those who have played. It states physics are more lifelike, and obviously it’s little harder. I skipped straight to this mode. What stood out right away was the pop. You no longer can ollie without crouching, you no longer can tre flip at slow speeds, and grinds are a pain in the ass. The ollies aren’t a big deal, and the flip tricks make it a little harder, but the grinds are damn annoying. I have done about 3 bluntslides without busting my ass, or landing in boardslide, and this makes challenges incredibly difficult. I don’t know what it was, but in the others, landing in grinds was a lot easier, making the game a lot more fun. It was easier to string lines and find flow.

Now, however, it is tough to line up grinds from kickers, making many of the challenges harder than they really should be. Maybe I’m just whining, but I’m a die-hard skate fan, so this kind of makes me wonder how hard it is for others. It’s okay that it makes it harder, but the fact that I can’t just freeskate and have fun without really trying is kinda saddening. Another Major part of skateboarding games, at least to me, is the music included. EA does an okay job trying to cover all genres, but they just don’t include enough. In my opinion, with the massive amount of money EA has, and with the amount of music they put in other games such as Madden, etc., you’d think they’d shell out the cash to make the music worthwhile. Music as a whole is a major thing to skateboarders, and kids that think they skateboard, so it would be a good point to observe. Oh well.

Overall, this is just another installment that could have easily been provided through a $20 map expansion, opposed to a $60 game with nothing new to truly add to the franchise. Yes, it has better graphics, yes it has ONE new gimmick, and yes it has a two new difficulty levels (easy and hard), but it has nothing warranting an entirely new game. I personally am pissed that I spent as much as I did on this game. I essentially feel like I payed for the intro movie.


As I’ve just moved in to a new house, I haven’t had a chance to play the online modes, but I hopefully will be able to comment on that soon, in another article.


REPORT CARD

Story: 48

Graphics: 83

Audio: 68

Gameplay: 86

Lasting Appeal: 60

OVERALL

73

Congratulations to Boris the Baby Eater!

June 11, 2010 in Random, Thoughts

Class of 2010

Christian, you did it!

We all love you and are so proud of you.

-The Loving Staff of RealViews

Eminem’s “Recovery” Tracklist

May 28, 2010 in Music

1. Cold Wind Blows
2. Talkin’ 2 Myself Feat. Kobe
3. On Fire
4. Won’t Back Down Feat. Pink
5. W.T.P.
6. Going Through Changes
7. Not Afraid
8. Seduction
9. No Love Feat. Lil Wayne
10. Space Bound
11. Cinderella Man
12. 25 to Life
13. So Bad
14. Almost Famous
15. Love the Way You Lie Feat. Rihanna
16. You’re Never Over

Another song with Wayne? Damn I can’t wait to hear how that turns out.

And a song with Rihanna and Pink aswell? Thats something I wouldn’t expect from Eminem in a million years.

This is going to be an interesting album no doubt. June 22nd can’t come any quicker.

Eminem’s “Recovery” Album Covers

May 25, 2010 in Music

These two official album covers dropped, right from the official Eminem website.

This one, people have said that ” Eminem is living in a box, with his whole life exposed to everyone.”

This one, people have said “Eminem is on a lonely, long path to recovery, leaving his past behind him”

Either way, I’m absolutely in love with the concepts. Can’t wait for June 22!

“Madden 2010″ Game Review

April 19, 2010 in Games, Playstation 3 RealViews, Xbox 360 RealViews

Ok where the hell do I start! This game is the definition of EPIC Football.  For many of you — a lot of you — there is nothing we can say that will make you rethink a purchase of this year’s Madden game. You’re going to buy it and hot damn you’re going to love it, because … that’s just what you do every August.  That leaves us talking to the average gamer, or the “squishy middle,” so to speak. (NOOBS) Did EA pack enough into their 21st football game to warrant another purchase, or should you hold out for the season? All I have to say is GET’CHA POPCORN READY!


Rivalries will never be the same

It all starts with Madden’s new online franchise mode, a feature fans have been demanding for years. Pick a team in the league and up to 32 users can compete head-to-head for 10 seasons. (The CPU takes control of teams not selected by anyone.) The team I always select would be the Dallas Cowboys, of course… the best team in the NFL hands down. Unlike last year’s single-season format, the point of the online franchise is to build up your team into a perennial contender and, eventually, a dynasty. So, it may serve you well to pick a bottom-of-the-barrel team and get first dibs in the draft at the end of Season. Can anyone say hello Detroit Lions! The franchise mode allows you to play 30 entire seasons with one team, and during the season there are many new features that allow for a more in depth game play such as the Extra Point, a nifty weekly wrap-up show hosted by the NFL Network’s Fran Charles and Alex Flanagan.

The new PRO-TAK technology allows you to gang-bang ball handlers and pull them away from sidelines — and a Fight for the Fumble mini-game tasks you to mash corresponding buttons to retrieve the ball from under a scrum for a loose ball. (I’ve broken 2 controllers from losing these battles.. they are ferocious!)  There are noticeable upgrades to how players move and handle as well: You can fake out opponents by running laterally in one direction and then do a crossover into another, for example.  One pretty annoying thing while playing a Madden football game is the announcers, they get very annoying when you are trying to play. Like for instance you make a retarded throw to a dude who you know isn’t open but hey you just friggin felt like it, and Chris Collinsworth and Tom Hammond, are glad to diss you anyway they can. Tom Hammond- ” He should have thrown the ball away!” Chris Collinsworth-”He did, to the other team!”. Can anyone say asshole?

The Redskins beat the Bucs, Who knew?

Alas, we can’t stay mad at you long, Madden NFL 10. You gave us hours and hours of fun without having to get up from the couch and actually do productive stuff. That’s what good video games do, dammit! Our sausage-shaped fingers got a workout from your Tron-like Madden tests and virtual trainers! You Shall Not Pass! (What?) Anyways…so the graphics in this game are just simply orgasmic (as you can see above). While you are sprinting down the field stiff arming the defensive backs, the crowd gets up roaring about how amazing you are (which you can actually see the crowd in this game – they are not  just one big blob of people), you throw the defense down, kick dirt in their faces and still manage to bring the rain, baby! Madden 2010 has amazing game play as well with enhanced catching and running. I just can’t get enough of it. It makes me want to run down the street and deck some random dude just cause of the insane testosterone built up.

REPORT CARD

Story: N/A

Graphics: 94

Audio: 94

Gameplay: 96

Lasting Appeal: 95

OVERALL

96

She & Him “In The Sun” Single Review

March 14, 2010 in Music, Singles RealViews

Lemme start this off by saying: Zooey Deschanel, I love you. M. Ward, I wish I could be half, just half, as cool as you.

Alright, now that we have that out of the way, it’s time to review their new single, In The Sun. I will type as I react.

Piano is nice, I like the catchy beat. Simple drums, easygoing. OMG ZOOEY! Well, it sounds like a cheap, stripped down Camera Obscura. Hmm. Okay, let’s continue. Nice parallelism in the lyrics, however they seem to be cheap rhymes and a sad attempt at teenage simplicity. Between the genius of M. Ward and Zooey, I would think the lyrics to be much more clever, to be much more upbeat. Okay, bridge. Buildup, drum fill…same thing? This is getting kind of repetitive. It sounds like the guitar is trying to break out. I feel like I’m stuck in an underdeveloped cross between the Cure and Camera Obscura now. Hmm. And it’s over.

Okay, I’m not going to say I hated the song, but there is a little more I disliked than I enjoyed. Most prominently, it seriously sounded like I was listening to a pre-string section, underdeveloped Camera Obscura demo of sorts. While that might not be bad, whenever I think of Twee, I expect to be swept away in drama in a musical tidal wave of depression with an upbeat melody and great voice. She & Him seem to have the upbeat melody and the basic, cutesy lyrics to make it happen, but I’m really just not feeling the simplicity of their sound. While a lot of people crave that folksy, diy sound, it just doesn’t sound right with this song. Don’t get me wrong, I love bands like Good Old War, Noah and the Whale, Planet Earth, and the like, but this just doesn’t do it for me.

All in all, listening to this single was like eating a stick of celery. While I don’t mind it, it doesn’t do anything for me. There is better.

REPORT CARD

Instruments: 93

Production: 84

Lyrics: 65

Vocals: 80

OVERALL

72

Guy Ritchie Doing King Arthur?!

March 10, 2010 in Movies, Thoughts

Yes, you read correctly! Guy Ritchie is slated to direct the latest rendition of King Arthur, according to AP. Now, normally, I couldn’t give two shits about the idea of another fucking medieval movie, but the idea of Ritchie directing it makes me happy. In the pants.

Not the point.

Confirmed by IMDB, this take on King Arthur’s knights will be rewritten by John Hodge, the writer of one of my personal favourites, Trainspotting. This is definitly going to be an action packed, interesting, and hopefully darker, look into the world of the King, and will include, knowing Ritchie, some of the best fight sequences from medieval cinema. I’m still not 100%, but I will be keeping the updates.

Terrible Tuesday I- “Baby” Justin Beiber ft. Ludacris

March 9, 2010 in Singles RealViews, Thoughts

Terrible Tuesday:

Everything you never need to check out, because it sucks. I’m taking the hit for the team.

Alright let’s start with the facts: Justin Bieber is 16 years of age, Canadian, and has just recently released a single titled, very cleverly, “Baby,” featuring Ludacris.

This track is a recycled pop song that I swear I heard back in the 90′s.  The beat is incredibly simple, with nothing redeeming about it. At least Lil’ Wayne has decent beats to back up his bullshit. Just saying.

And Ludacris? Really? Where the fuck has that guy been? I haven’t heard anything from him since that shitty track from Fast and Furious, or whatever.

What has this world come too? The kid repeats the same fucking phrase seven goddamn times a chorus. And for the record, there are nine sections, not including Ludacris’ part. Out of those nine sections, only four include him singing/saying SHIT. THAT’S THE SAME PHRASE 35 TIMES! As soon as this kid’s balls drop, his agent is gonna kill himself. As soon as his balls drop, I’m throwing a party, because maybe we won’t be subject to this UTTER SHIT.

I really wish I could say this track had any redeeming quality, such as musicianship, clever lyrics, a sexy girl voice in the background, anything, but nothing can save it. I don’t enjoy hating on kids younger than me, but this is what is ruining the music industry. I wasn’t too worried with the Amy Winehouses and Lady Gagas of the world, because at least they were doing something interesting. This kid is attempting to revive the N*SYNC/Backstreet Boys era. We can only hope the world of 14 year old girls goes back to reading Twilight because even that is a step up from Justin Bieber.

If I could grade lower, I would. They need to create an entirely new system for this single.

REPORT CARD

Instruments: 50

Production: 50

Lyrics: 50

Vocals: 50

OVERALL

40

“Whip It!” Movie Review

March 8, 2010 in Movies

First up is Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut, Whip it! I don’t know why, but I just feel the title would be better if an exclamation point were included. It stars your average teenager, Bliss Cavendar (played by, who else? Ellen Page), who is forced by her mother to participate in beauty pageants. She hates them but does them to appease her mother. Being the quirky teenage type at heart, she goes to a head shop to get new shoes and sees an advert for a roller-derby league. Needless to say, she pushes her best friend Pash (played by the ridiculously pretty Alia Shawkat) to take her, as Bliss doesn’t have a license. They both get caught up by the glamour of bruises and broken bones, of cute indie guys and weekend parties, unto the point where Bliss tries out for the league. I’m trying to leave out some of the main plot points so you’ll see it, but it probably sounds kind of lame so far. Either way, between all this partying, of course, Bliss meets a guy, she has some drama on the rink, she fights with her parents, and how does it end? You’ll have to go see it.

Overall, the dialogue is brilliant, the storyline solid, the ladies quite attractive, and the humour accessible. There are great clothes, great sets, fairly decent cinematography, and all the actors were on point. A great soundtrack, including the likes of The Ramones and Cut Chemist, round out a ridiculously impressive directorial debut.

Grade

93

“Alice In Wonderland” Movie Review

March 8, 2010 in Movies

This isn’t your mother’s Alice in Wonderland.
Thumbs up to you, Tim Burton, I knew you wouldn’t let me down! It was exactly what I wanted and more. The Chesshire Cat may have been my favorite part of the movie, but that’s just because it was so spot on. Johnny Depp (whom I almost never like in anything) played the Mad Hatter so well that even I was in love with him. Someone asked me why Burton didn’t pick someone more attractive to play Alice and I answered simply, “It’s a Tim Burton film…he could care less how attractive you are as long as you can act the way he wants you to.” And it’s true.
He was so accurate with even the smallest details. I wish I would have seen it in 3-D.
Every single actor in the movie, even if it was only a voice actor, did amazingly well. Amazingly.
There wasn’t a single part that I didn’t enjoy (and I am a hater).
The entire movie was beautiful. Beautiful and creepy because, well, Tim Burton directed it. He can’t help himself.
If you were even THINKING about going to see it, go. You probably won’t be disappointed.

GRADE

93