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“Skate 3″ Game Review

July 5, 2010 in Random

Hello internet. I’m Boris, here to provide you a review on one of my favourite franchise’s new installments: skate. 3

How can you change a game about skateboarding? You can’t. Let’s get this out of the way right away. They can use gimmicks like darkslides and new difficulties, but the essence of the game, the controls of the game, the types of challenges–they do not change. Now, what does this game do correctly? As in the others, it has a baddass intro. That is one thing EA has done consistently with this game series, spend money on a great intro that truly does its job: it introduces the skaters. While not orthodox, and often a little over the top, it is humorous and starts the game off right. Now, the game starts you off in a new city, with a new idea: instead of getting out of jail, or the hospital, you’ve just wrecked yourself after some ridiculous stunt. Then Reda, the entire reason I turned off the conversation volume off, decides to start a board company. One, not that easy. Two, not practical. Beside the point.

Now, the gameplay. It is the same tried and true formula that trumped the Tony Hawk series out of existence. Use the left stick to steer, the right stick to do ollies, kickflips, tre flips, etc. It is the same as the other 2, with a new gimmick. You can now catch the board upside-down to darkslide. It’s stupid, in my opinion, but whatever. EA decided to include a new game difficulty as well, hardcore for those who have played. It states physics are more lifelike, and obviously it’s little harder. I skipped straight to this mode. What stood out right away was the pop. You no longer can ollie without crouching, you no longer can tre flip at slow speeds, and grinds are a pain in the ass. The ollies aren’t a big deal, and the flip tricks make it a little harder, but the grinds are damn annoying. I have done about 3 bluntslides without busting my ass, or landing in boardslide, and this makes challenges incredibly difficult. I don’t know what it was, but in the others, landing in grinds was a lot easier, making the game a lot more fun. It was easier to string lines and find flow.

Now, however, it is tough to line up grinds from kickers, making many of the challenges harder than they really should be. Maybe I’m just whining, but I’m a die-hard skate fan, so this kind of makes me wonder how hard it is for others. It’s okay that it makes it harder, but the fact that I can’t just freeskate and have fun without really trying is kinda saddening. Another Major part of skateboarding games, at least to me, is the music included. EA does an okay job trying to cover all genres, but they just don’t include enough. In my opinion, with the massive amount of money EA has, and with the amount of music they put in other games such as Madden, etc., you’d think they’d shell out the cash to make the music worthwhile. Music as a whole is a major thing to skateboarders, and kids that think they skateboard, so it would be a good point to observe. Oh well.

Overall, this is just another installment that could have easily been provided through a $20 map expansion, opposed to a $60 game with nothing new to truly add to the franchise. Yes, it has better graphics, yes it has ONE new gimmick, and yes it has a two new difficulty levels (easy and hard), but it has nothing warranting an entirely new game. I personally am pissed that I spent as much as I did on this game. I essentially feel like I payed for the intro movie.


As I’ve just moved in to a new house, I haven’t had a chance to play the online modes, but I hopefully will be able to comment on that soon, in another article.


REPORT CARD

Story: 48

Graphics: 83

Audio: 68

Gameplay: 86

Lasting Appeal: 60

OVERALL

73

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“Assassin’s Creed 2″ Game Review

April 21, 2010 in Games, Playstation 3 RealViews, Xbox 360 RealViews

One of the most celebrated franchises of the current generation of consoles makes its triumphant return. As master assassin Ezio, you sneak and slay through the streets of 15th century Italy. Though the story is truly epic, and weaves its fiction in and out of a variety of complex historical narratives, the real tale here is that of Ezio. Introduced as a young, carefree noble, oblivious to the political machinations unraveling around him, and equally blind to his family’s involvement, he is quickly drawn into a life with which he  is almost entirely unprepared for.

Stop crying, take it like a man!
Unlike Altair, the medieval crusader from the original Assassin’s Creed, Ezio is a sympathetic character clearly designed to draw the player into the narrative. Far from just a white-robed angel of death with superhuman skills that allow him to jump on your face and own you in a single move, he is a far more believable hero thrust into a situation where he is very clearly in over his head. It’s clear that the team at Ubisoft has learned a thing or two from Naughty Dog’s success with Uncharted’s Nathan Drake, as Ezio is noticeably cut from the same cloth. He’s charming, witty, and comically self-deprecating – at least to start with anyway.
It’s not just his dialogue either, which is confidently delivered with a smoldering Italian accent by accomplished voice actor Roger Craig Smith (previously the voice of Chris Redfield in Resident Evil 5, though curiously not an actor used in the first game), it’s also his presence and body language. While nearly all of the characters found throughout the game are wiry, gaunt looking creatures with tired looking faces and vacant eyes, Ezio is noticeably more expressive.  Throughout the story’s numerous conversational exchanges, whether its with flirtatious courtesans, Florentine nobility or his friend Leonardo da Vinci, Ezio’s features are extravagantly animated and the energy of these scenes is all the better for it. While I enjoyed the scenery and the human-like features given to Assassin’s Creed 2, I couldn’t help but notice the random actions of the people in the street.
For instance, when a beggar runs up to you playing that lame ass excuse for an instrument asking for coins, he randomly falls over. I don’t know why this happens or maybe there was a tiny rock he tripped on (bullshit). Also the thieves, when you hire them and tell them to distract an enemy solider, they sometimes randomly run off in the opposite direction (wtf)! So the game isn’t all that perfect, but, hey,  who doesn’t enjoy a good assassination in the morning? One really awesome thing you should try is to stab one of the guards with a poison tipped wrist blade (you’ll laugh your ass off). The soldier,  freaking out, frantically throws his body around like a damn puppet, flailing his arms in every direction, screaming random stuff, and eventually another guard will get sick of him and cut him in half (that’s the way to fire someone).
When in doubt, go for a swim!


The storyline is pretty good throughout the game but of all the fetch-quests, it’s those six seals that piss me off the most and have the most dramatic effect on the experience. While everything else takes place in the streets and on the rooftops of the game’s lovingly-rendered cities, these seals are hidden within what are, essentially, the game’s “dungeon quests.” Each of the seals are hidden within the burial chambers of six great assassin’s guild members throughout history. To get to the sarcophagi themselves, Ezio is faced with a very different set of challenges. Whereas the city streets offer up combat tests, basic climbing, and jumping challenges, these interior locations are far more puzzle-focused.

Early on, they are little more than simple pathfinding puzzles that encourage spatial reasoning skills and environmental awareness. Later the challenges expand into epic, multi-part climbing puzzles that have the added modifier of being against the clock. If at any time you accidentally jump off the ledge or miss a step, yeah, too damn bad, you have to go all the way back through it. With the clock-based challenges, you have to wait for the clock to end before attempting another try – very irritating.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! NO! IT’S EZIO!

The combat mechanic is the only facet of the game that hasn’t gotten a major overhaul in Assassin’s Creed II. Though the few new weapons are appreciated, the actual controls still feel a little too convoluted to give me the feel of being a masterful killer. Even when I was on point, whether my counter attacks would scratch an enemy or murder them seemed frustratingly random. Although I really enjoyed the new addition of being able to grab enemies weapons! Randomly run up to three guys, slap one in the face (maybe throw some sand in his eyes) and shank the second guy, but, oh no, the third guy is huge! No problem. Ubisoft added the handy-dandy -no-hand-grab-your-weapon-and-own-you-with-it-thingy! You grab his weapon and just shove it into his armor and, man, does that give you a good feeling when you walk away.

Owned/Tbag

If you were burned by the first Assassin’s Creed and are worried about getting bored by the sequel, I understand your skepticism, but trust me: it’s misplaced. It would be a lot more fruitful to worry about how you’re going to find time for any other games this holiday season when Ezio’s Italy constantly dangles the next trinket in front of you, just a few rooftops away. So go out and buy it take my word for it because trust me, you will not regret it.

 

REPORT CARD

Story: 93

Graphics: 97

Audio: 95

Gameplay: 92

Lasting Appeal: 83

OVERALL

96

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“Gears Of War 2″ Game Review

April 20, 2010 in Games, Xbox 360 RealViews

Gears of War 2 continues with a heart-pumping, head-throbbing, worm-ripping, aids-developing, God-like story line (a bit much? NO!). This story deserves all the props it gets. From the thrilling battles with the Locust infantry to the jaw-dropping brutal battles against the brumaks. In Gears 2, it’s all veins and striated muscle, a mentally grinding, athletically pounding assault on your senses without a delicate Hallmark moment in sight. Red meat for the twitching masses. Halo for the shoot-and-swagger crowd. This game is the definition of EPIC.

The Real Battle Begins

In Gears of War 2, the human Coalition of Ordered Governments (COG) forces continue their fight against the Locust horde, who are attempting to sink all of the cities on the planet Sera by using a giant worm-like creature to eat the ground beneath them. Sgt Marcus Fenix leads Delta Squad into the depths of the planet to try to stop the worm from eating but instead they discover the true intent of the Locust. The player controls Fenix in the main mission campaign, with the ability to play cooperatively with a second player controlling Fenix’s best friend and fellow Squad member, Dom Santiago. Gears of War 2 has also come out with a new game type called Horde, which is a fight for your right to live, while round after round of locust enemies sprint at you doing everything in their power to kill you and enslave you, while also making you their play things (wink). Every round the locust horde gets harder and harder to defeat gaining health and upgrades to their weapon damage. I personally love this game type, with it’s intense surprises such as the blood hounds randomly coming at your face with no warning!

So, what do we do now?

As far as gameplay goes, Gears 2 is as pristine and adrenaline-pumping as the shooter genre gets. Like the original, the game is played from a third-person perspective, and demands that you spend most of your time behind cover unless you like the feel of bullets to the face. Taking this tactical slant, players must dive from cover to cover, line up their shots carefully, and remain exposed as little as possible in a firefight. Thankfully, the folks at Epic Games have created the best cover system in the industry, and with only a little practice, you’ll be flying from cover to cover with a grace that is rarely seen in video games – even Jesus himself wishes he could move like you. The system is also improved from the original game, with improved intuition and smoother cover-taking. Rarely will you be able to blame anyone other than yourself for death.

This time around, if two opponents rev up their chainsaws at the same time, a chainsaw duel takes place in which the winner is the one who hits the B button the fastest. When enemies are down but not dead, you are also able to take the hostage, curb stomp their heads under your boot, or commit extra gory finishing moves that leave you exposed to enemy fire for longer. My personal favorite is when playing as a Locust in multilayer, you can rip off a COG’s arm and beat him to death with it. If you find yourself in the life to death limbo, you can now crawl away by tapping the A button, which leaves behind a satisfying trail of blood. It’s safe to say that Gears 2 will satisfy even the most bloodthirsty gore hounds (such as yours truly).

How do you like me now!?

The Gears of War 2 multiplayer has yet to fix its servers and the connection issues. I swear, if they do not fix this by Gears Of War 3, I will go all the way back to Super Mario or some shit, and i mean that EPIC! It’s like you are sprinting at someone, run right up behind them, aim your shotgun right behind their head, shoot,  and your damn bullets hit the wall behind you!? How does this happen! It gets so irritating that you don’t even want to play the game anymore, you just want to throw it at your friend because, no surprise, the game has frustrated you both so much you begin to argue and eventually it leads to fist fighting! So, with this is mind, Gears of War 2 multiplayer ruins even the best of friendships, just because they can’t fix the lag problems (way to go!). All things put aside, Gears Of War 2 will always remain one of my most favorite games.

REPORT CARD

Story: 87

Graphics: 97

Audio: 95

Gameplay: 89

Multiplayer: 65

Lasting Appeal: 80

OVERALL

90

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“Just Cause 2″ Game review

April 20, 2010 in Games, Playstation 3 RealViews, Xbox 360 RealViews


For those who played the first Just Cause this will be no disappointment. I’ve played a couple of hours and I’m hooked. There is nothing more pleasing on a Friday morning than grapple hooking an enemy and attaching him to the front of my car, then driving right through the enemy base with him screaming like a little girl with C4 attached to his face. Yes, the voice acting is poor, and yes the music is pretty gay, but once you start the game you will soon realize that most of the effort was put into making this the most fun open world game this decade. Just Cause 2 is a third-person action experience that makes you want to run up a wall. Your playground is the South East Asian island of Panau, an impressive 1,000 sq km in size. Throwing yourself from your helicopter into a politically unstable land, you’re searching for your old boss and mentor who is suspected of going rogue. Using your gun-handling skills, you befriend the local factions in order to gain intel that will help you hunt him down. This gigantic island of Panau is pretty much your playground of destruction, whether it is blowing up a military base or killing innocent civilians, this game never gets old.  Your name is Scorpio and you have some business to take care of.


Boomshakalaka!

The moment you first play, you’re helping a CIA agent Rico Rodriguez as he attempts to eject dictator “Baby” Panay from the island of Panau. You’ll discover the sad truth: The tools at Rico’s disposal are a hell of a lot more fun than what he’s asked to use them on. The best is Rico’s grappling hook, which gets the 2010 Cerebry Award for weapon that should be in every game ever. Shooting an unaware dude and yanking him off his bike is fun, but shooting one end of your wire at the bike and the other at the ground, causing the hog to stop suddenly while buddy keeps right on flying through the air? Priceless. The key currency in this game is chaos, which you can cause through taking on a variety of missions or simply causing destruction as you freely explore the settings. So while exploring Panau, just run around and blow shit up, basically. A big part of this game seems to be very unrealistic (falling from a plane 20,000 ft in the air and hitting a mountain at full speed but somehow you survive) but, all the same, very entertaining.  The story pulls you right along, keeping you entertained throughout most of the game; sometimes, it may get a bit old or repetitive but if you put the man hours into this game, it will pay off.

Anyone up for a little skydiving?

This is the kind of game where you die often, and when currently engaged in a mission, that means you’ll be starting over just as often (there are checkpoints in the longer missions, but they’re not as frequent as I’d like). When you couple this disappointing save structure with the overwhelming odds tossed against Rico when he’s on foot, this can lead to a lot of vein-popping curse words (SHIT!). I haven’t had this much fun with an open-world game in years. Just Cause 2 is over-the-top and insanely fun. There are some issues in the game’s presentation and the checkpoint system is far from perfect, but Just Cause 2 is otherwise a must-play for adrenaline junkies. Rico Rodriguez is a beast.

REPORT CARD

Story: 77

Graphics: 72

Audio: 66

Gameplay: 84

Lasting Appeal: 73

OVERALL

78

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No Relapse 2?????

April 14, 2010 in Music

What’s this you say? No Relapse 2? What the hell is wrong with Eminem, you ask? Promising all his loyal fans the sequel to his first album since his hiatus to just decide to not drop it anymore?

Well, this is true. But only partly.Earlier today, it was announced that Eminem had canceled Relapse 2. But have no fear!

“Recovery”, which will be released on June 22nd, will be replacing “Relapse 2″

Did I scare you? Did you excrete in your pants with such dissappointment? Were/did you do all of the above? You better, ’cause I certainly did. Now where did I put that toilet paper…

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