Bay. Transformers. Sh*t.

February 14, 2012 in Movies, News

Michael Bay has been doing a pretty damn good job at making some compelling robot CGI badassery but when it comes to storytelling? Well, is it even possible to do any worse or just flatout boring stories than the last two Transformers movies? There is such a huge wealth of potential for a Transformers movie if it can focus more on the story of these robots and not so much on the who-gives-a-shit humans that hog too much of the damn spotlight in the unnecessarily long Transformers movies. So when Michael Bay said Dark Side of the Moon would be his last film, I wasn’t sad in the slightest he was leaving the franchise because I couldn’t wait for another director to make a truly compelling Transformers flick. Well, son of a bitch, Paramount Pictures has signed on the director for a fourth film. I wanted to believe Bay could make a good Transformers movie the last outing but he made a horribly placed and boring movie, so is there any chance a fourth time is a charm for him? On the positive side, at least we know the action will be undeniably awesome.

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“A Good Old Fashioned Orgy” Movie Review

February 12, 2012 in Movie RealViews, Movies

With sex-based, rated-R raunch fest movies, there’s always that risk of a title being risque for the sake of being, well, just that. For example, the original Hangover was a clever raunchy flick, building upon layers and layers of “WTF-ery’s” while the sequel simply bolstered its grotesque factor to elicit cheap laughs. “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy”, just by the title alone, seems like it might be a cheap, potty-humor-infested whack job but in truth, it’s more than decent enough of a flick with some good laughs and a concept that actually plays out.

The story is as thin as can be but with a title like this, who really cares about the story? Anywho, you follow lead Jason Sudekis (who is an odd pick for a lead actor if you were to ask me), a man whose kicked out a house his father owns and decides to go out with a quite literal bang…a bang with multiple women. So the meaty roster of b-list comedians all come to an agreement over a course of time that, yes, they are going to have an orgy to properly sendoff their party house. It’s a funny enough journey that sees its dips in pacing, ultimately coming out as a more than watchable affair.

Sudekis is enjoyable enough as the lead but it’s not a performance that will solidify him as a go-to comedian star. His right-hand bro in Tyler Labine is the lovable bundle of chubby fun and the rest of the cast all have their own little quirks to them that make them enjoyable enough to watch. The most satisfying thing about their performance, and the story in general, is that they all actually get buck-naked and, well, “buck”. Throughout the film I couldn’t help but feel like the movie was going to cop out of the orgy, but fortunately they don’t pussy out and actually go through with it, becoming pretty much the whole last third of the film. It’s not the funniest or smarted comedy, but it’s surprisingly good enough in both departments and you won’t regret renting it.

Report Card

Story: 64
Direction: 79
Cinematography: 60
Special Effects: N/A
Score: 50
Actor Performances: 78
Overall 
74

Weekend Box Office RealPort (2/10/12 – 2/12/12)

February 12, 2012 in Movies, News

  • 10. Underworld: Awakening — $2.5 million
  • 09. The Descendants — $3.5 million
  • 08. Big Miracle — $3.9 million
  • 07. The Grey — $5.08 million
  • 06. The Woman In Black — $10.3 million
  • 05. Chronicle — $12.3 million
  • 04. Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace 3D — $23 million
  • 03. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island — $27.55 million
  • 02. Safe House — $39.3 million
  • 01. The Vow — $41.7 million

The Amazing Spider-Man Slings Us Images of the Lizard

February 9, 2012 in Movie RealViews, Movies

We finally got the see The Lizard in, albeit brief, action! The latest The Amazing Spiderman trailer sees Andrew Garfield as a more sassy Peter Parker than the more introspective Tobey Maguire rendition, ultimately having to face off against the iconic reptilian villain. To see more high-quality stills from the trailer, just click the “source” link below!

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Lead Spartan Mans Up For 300 Prequel

February 9, 2012 in Movies, News

Seems like the forgotten 300 prequel project, Battle for Artemisia, has found its leading Spartan. Sullivan Stapleton is set to play Themistokles, discarding earlier rumors of him replacing Rodrigo Santoro for the role of Xerxes (Santoro will reprise his role). Director Noam Murro is planning to shoot the film sometime during this summer. As any potential this project may have, is another 300 movie even anticipated by anyone? I’m personally not excited for it as I feel Snyder’s action epic was a product of its time and I doubt it could recapture that testosterone-bound glory. I’m interested in only that I’m curious how this could turn out.

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt To Be Behind Camera For Next Project

February 8, 2012 in Movies, News

Joseph Gordon-Levitt has really been increasing his stock as of late, starring in critical darlings such as Inception, 500 Days of Summer, and most recently 50/50. Now, i nan untitled project, he is set to co-star with Hottie-wood actress Scarlet Johansson. The simple premise is about a man trying to be less of a douchebag. The project is set to shoot in April with their director — wait for it — Joseph Gordon-Levitt taking the helm. He is undoubtedly a talented actor and now he has the chance to prove if he can lead a project (he’s already made some smaller material).

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The Serial Mustached Murderer Set To Return In Machete Sequel

February 7, 2012 in Movies, News

Indisputable Hispanic badass, Danny Trejo, is set to come back as Machete in the sequel, Machete Kills. Director Robert Rodriguez plans to begin shooting the film in April. The story is also developed by Rodriguez but the script is penned by Kane & Lynch writer, Kyle Ward. Don’t expect movie until next year.

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Vampires? Zombies? Aliens? Humans? One Movie!?

February 7, 2012 in Movies, News

Jonah is no longer directing the film, but his face is more than appropriate for the news story

How alluring is the ridiculous set-up of a vampire, zombie, and a human forming a friggin’ alliance to stop an alien invasion? Well, that concept is coming to life slowly but surely as The Kitchen Sink (the movie title) has now found a director in Natural Selection writer Robbie Pickering, negating reports that Jonah Hill was set to make a directorial debut with The Kitchen Sink.

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“Chronicle” & “The Woman In Black” Compete For No. 1

February 4, 2012 in Movies, News

Both these movies started showing trailers a while back and they both looked extremely good but who would have thought they’d be opening on the same weekend? “Chronicle” is a dark story of a group of kids who get superpowers while “The Woman In Black” is a horror movie starring Daniel Radcliffe. Most people would want to see both and it seems like that’s what they’re doing. “Chronicle” brought in $8.65 million on day one of release while “The Woman In Black” brought in $8.3 million. These numbers are good but which will win for Number 1 at the box office? Both movies aren’t expected to break any records with the whole Super Bowl Sunday and all but they are both expect to bring in $20 million this weekend.

Which movie are you wanting to see this weekend? Comment below and let us know.

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“The Big Year” Movie Review

February 2, 2012 in Movie RealViews, Movies

It’s hard to review a movie that isn’t exactly excellent nor something bash-worthy bad. It’s a strange middle ground where movies are barely more entertaining than the “barely entertaining” threshold, if that makes sense. The Big Year  is exactly that, making this reviewer struggle to pinpoint a score for it. Thankfully, the comedic heavyweight triangle of Owen Wilson, Jack Black, and Steve Martin carry the movie out of the “blah” territory and into a heartfelt, lite-comedy.

A “big year” is a huge event for bird watchers where bird aficionados go across the nation, spotting as many different species of bird as they can. Each three of the leads have their own backgrounds. Martin is the CEO of a big company who feels confined by the mundane corporate life, Black is a divorcee who, like Martin, decides to chase the passion of bird watching. Owens is the current record-holder with 736 and is the guy who lets this flying passion (get it?) take over his life and marriage to Rosamund Pike. It’s not the most gripping of material, but bird watching in combination with the mostly likable leads results in a delightfully pleasant surprise.

Jack Black gives one of his more subdued performances (in Jack Black terms) and it’s always a delight to see him play a not-so-crazily-outgoing guy every now and then. Martin, surprisingly, didn’t wring a single chuckle out of me but he sill managed to please. Wilson is, well, the same guy he plays in every movie — you know, that guy who always talks his way out of situations and has an explanation for every scenario. His wife, Rosamund Pike, turns in a good portrayal of a woman conflicted with the love of her husband and the hate of his obsession.

One of the positives of having a unique storyline is that it can be unpredictable and The Big Year, while not entirely unique (it’s still a comedy with a moral of ‘don’t let your passion consume you’), hosts a couple unpredictable moments. The script never really bogs its story down with unnecessary dumb jokes, focusing on the heart and purist nature of spotting different birds. There are a couple lulls and dull moments that might run a little too long, but you can really do a lot worse than this surprisingly heartfelt movie.

 Report Card

Story: 79
Direction: 82
Cinematography: 80
Special Effects: 65
Score: 65
Actor Performances: 82
Overall 
77